I do believe this is the first time in history that I've attempted six identically-designed projects at the same time. Clearly, I am a madman. So, in my insane quest to build as many monsters from Final Fantasy IV as is practical (where "practical" is defined here for our purposes as "throwing as much disposable income at the idea as possible"), I really wanted to build those ridiculously blobby food monsters from the game (you know: Tofu, Cream, Pudding, etc.) At some point I remembered that there was a jellyfish named Pearl from the old McDonald's Finding Nemo promotion that was about the right shape. All I had to do was make them look evil. So, I know that plastic melts in the oven. I swear to you, dear reader, that I was careful. I sculpted new eyebrows and mouths for these little monsters, and I was four projects deep when I somehow managed to melt projects five and six. So, it was back to eBay to find two more jellyfish. I spent just as much on the two replacement jellyfish as I did on the original six. But, hey. Any problem can be solved if you throw enough money at it. After Mrs. Potato Head was done handing out angry eyes to everyone, I made them some teeth out of toothpicks. Each monster got seven teeth. And then took them all to creative dentistry school and gave them root canals because I wasn't happy with them. So, that's seven times six times two. Eighty-four teeth. No wonder there are tiny pieces of toothpick all over my floor downstairs. Using my airbrush didn't even dawn on me until very late in the game, but I'm so glad I used it. It allowed me to capture the same colors used in the Super Nintendo game sprites, but in a way that seems natural and believable (well, as believable as a gigantic walking pile of tofu could possibly be). Anyway, here are the Jelly, Cream, Slime, Tofu, Pudding, and the infuriating PinkPuff. What's next? Not sure. I have some birds that I got at Target (candidates for the Eagle, Roc Baby, and Cocktric) but I really like the ones at Toys "R" Us better so I might wait for those instead. I've got a couple of dragons by Safari, Ltd. (Blue D. and Red D. and D.Machin) but I need one more before I can paint them. I'm just getting started, though. It may take me many years to collect all the toys that I'll need to do the whole cast. This is definitely a long-term commitment. (Check back with me in ten years and see how far I've gotten!) I'm also going to need a new bookshelf to display all these guys...
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DAVID GRAHAM EDWARDS
Illustrator, writer, painter, sculptor, collector of toys and cats, observer of things. Categories
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